Adventures in Advertising Part 1

I’ve been a part of the San Francisco advertising community for more than 10 years, in retrospect I’ve had a great career (to date), but more importantly I’ve seen a lot fo crazy crap! This post is going to be the first installment of what I hope to make an ongoing series chronicling the quirky world I live in…

I’d like to relate what would have been my most embarrassing moment, hands-down ever, if I had been the other person in this story!

A Tale of HR Violation

Several years ago there was a boy who worked at an ad agency that had a VERY exclusive, employees only, Christmas party every year. The first year the boy attended the Christmas party he was warned by older, wiser more experienced ad-folk to be watchful as multiple HR violations were a mere step away… thankfully his first year sailed along smoothly and no untoward incidents happened.

By the third year the boy attended the Christmas party he was more seasoned and was charged with giving the warning to more junior, less experienced ad-folk and he was pleased, when again, no untoward incidents took place… in fact, the boy was beginning to think these HR violations were simply Agency legend!

By the fifth year, the boy was so sure he had missed the era of HR violations that he decided to skip the obligatory “HR violation conversation” with his staff… and this people is why I so love irony…

It was in this fifth year that the boy was given a very big promotion! As the liquor flowed and the music began the boy began to cut loose and enjoy his new title, his fantastic raise and the general adoration of all those around him… shots were taken, toasts were given and in time the HR manager swung herself onto the dance floor… the boy was suddenly wondering if perhaps the stories of old never happened because the HR people at his company were so vigilant…

Now the boy’s memory was admittedly clouded by the merriment, but there came a time when he was suddenly alone on the dance floor with the HR manager, it didn’t seem to matter that her dress was very short, and very tight, and that she had a predatory gleam in her eyes… she was the HR manager, and he was a well known gay boy! Surely this was safe…

The boy became nervous as he realized that he was the member of the pack who hadn’t kept up when the others had left for the watering hole. He began to slowly make his way out of danger, keeping an eye on the stiletto-shod creature on the prowl. It was at this point that the HR manager pounced on the boy like a Cougar on the hunt! Suddenly her hands were on him, her dress had “accidentally” slid over her hips and her tongue was in his mouth!! It took three women with cocktails to pry her off, and in parting she had this gem to share…

“I know you’re gay… but I can kiss whoever I want”

It was at this moment that the boy finally realized why the warning had always been carefully referred too as “the HR violations conversation”